Freshman Arikta Trivedi. (Photo by Jacqueline Chao, graphic by Emma Boersma)

NEWSERY RHYMES: Sticks, stones break man’s bones in freshman’s second-place story

On Monday night a man was admitted into the hospital. It was discovered that he had broken two-thirds of his bones, but fortunately, doctors confirmed a full recovery.

The man in question was Carl Nosenger. He was a resident of Chester-le-Street. Nosenger had a history of psychotic behavior, according to next door neighbor, Rhonda Twain.

“He was always running around jumping in things,” Twain said.

Other neighbors confirmed this and revealed some of the objects Nosenger had tried to jump into. These objects included a paper bag, a wheelbarrow, a rose brier, an apple pasty and, finally, Chester-le-Street.

Further revelations showed that Nosenger was jumping around yards and onto the objects. Twain reported she was the victim of crushed flowers and a crushed apple pasty.

Many neighbors mentioned trying to stop him but being to scared to get near him. However, Twain took action and called the authorities.

The peculiar events of that day ended when Nosenger jumped onto Chester-le-Street, which was full of stone, and fell down and broke his bones.

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